Does Size (Really) Matter?

Does penis size really matter 

It goes without saying that the penis is a very sensitive organ for a man, not only physically but also emotionally.  If you want to hit a guy where it counts, so to speak, it’s no mystery how to bring him to his knees.  Men, for the most part, wear their heart in their pants and honestly who can really blame them.


In our contemporary western culture men have been socialized to believe the root of their manliness originates in their virility, erections, sexual conquests, sexual stamina and of course the size of their penis. Ironically, most of these characteristic carry more weight with other men than women.


That’s not to say that women don’t appreciate some if not all of these qualities. Rather, there are other factors that women tend to value more than a 13 inch penis that can last for 2 hours. Tell 90% of women of your Godzilla tail and they will tell you where you can stick it… anywhere but in them.  Tell a group of men of your wonder-down-under and you’ll witness the combination of self-consciousness and envy.


But at the heart of the matter does size really matter? Is bigger always better? Or is there ever a time when less is more?


I can answer all these question with one concise answer…. it all depends.

Sex and Your Penis Size: How to move past your (perceived) shortcomings. 

It may come as quite a shock to some people but there are serious Casanovas out there who have very small penises. In addition, there are also men who are built like Ron Jeremy who are nothing to write home about. Working with sex therapy clients I hear both sides of the coin.


In this case bigger doesn’t mean better.  Sadly, there are men out there who truly believe that just because they have a larger than average penis that they are automatically God’s gift to women (or men). When thinking of this God’s gift to women guy I envision a man laying naked on his back in bed, hand interlaced behind his head, looking down at his large member and then back at his bed mate while he mutters the phrase “You’re Welcome”.  He lays there during the entire encounter while she (or he) does her/his best to find pleasure in the act.


In this case bigger does not equate to better or even okay.


A Case For The Micro Penis: When is less actually more? 

Q:When is a shortcoming not a shortcoming at all? A: When you don’t let is stop you from achieving your goals. Sometimes it’s the things that you think would hold you back that force you to think outside the box and help you shine.

It is never the man’s penis size that stops him from having a great sex life; it is the man thoughts about his penis size that become the problem.


A while back I attended a training that looked at how to help people build an enjoyable sex life after a spinal cord injuries. Some of the people who talked were paraplegic and others were quadriplegics. They reported that they had not let their disability stop them from having great, enjoyable sex with their partners.


I remember one quadriplegic saying, “You can’t just lie there (if you want to be a good lover)” and his partner would tell you that he comes alive when they make love.  Here, a man who could not move below his neck was saying you have to be fully engaged.  It was inspiring.

I walked away with a broader definition of what great sex could be.

Most of us get stuck in a mindset that sex equates to an erect penis and ejaculation. Having a narrow definition of sex can make one’s sexual experiences mundane and stale.  When one is thrown a curve ball such as a small penis, erectile dysfunction, paralysis, etc. they have two options: to get discouraged and play dead or become creative and come alive.

Coming alive in bed with creativity is how Casanovas are created. This is where some men with small penises shine. They know that you can’t just lie there.


When They Hit Below the Belt: Overcoming public shame

People choose to hurt others because they feel incomplete themselves. In this way people act like crabs in a pot, pulling one another down so they can feel in a “one up” position.  If you’re already out of the pot, so to speak, there’s no reason or need to pull someone else down so that you can temporarily feel better about yourself.

You may not be able to do anything about your penis size but you can work on the thoughts you have about your penis size.  You can’t do anything about what people say about your penis size but you can work on how much you let other’s words effect you.

You can work on becoming less attached to your ideas you have about your penis.  Ideas such as…

  • My life would be better if I had a larger penis.
  • I would be happy if my penis wasn’t so small.
  • My life would be easier if I had a different size penis.
  • I’d be a better lover if I had a big penis.

If you say any of these statements to yourself challenge your thoughts with these questions: Is this true? Can I absolutely be sure I would be happier if my penis was different? When I think these thoughts how does it affect me?

Consider how much worse you may be making the situation with the thoughts you create about it. Try to recognize these thoughts for what they are: just thoughts.  Nothing more, nothing less.


12 thoughts on “Does Size (Really) Matter?

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    1. Sarah Post author

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  3. Marcia Campfield

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  5. kevin smith

    Sounds great…..on paper, try being the guy who’s penis resembles his thumb. Try being the guy that get’s walked out on because “maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” (at least they were polite about it)There is nothing more soul crushing than being an adult with a penis that should be hidden by a diaper. How do I become less attached to the ideas listed above? Every one of them is true except for the last, I WAS good at foreplay because I knew I had to be, but to what end? You still have to insert part (A) into slot (B). I can’t f***, I can only nub. How can you deny the reality of that. KUDOS to any one that can, my hat’s off to you! It just bites when your insecurities have destroyed your life and become a deep hatred of ever being born.

    sorry, I had to vent…..

    1. Tara Post author

      Kevin- like many things, an idea sounds good on paper but it can be very difficult to apply in a real life circumstance. I work with people everyday who understand the concept of what I tell them but the application is where individuals tend to get stuck…. and quite frankly who could blame them. We all carry with us ideas that we have hung on to for years that can have a positive or negative affect on our lives. Some of these ideas like “I should have a larger penis” are more overt them say “I don’t think anyone has ever really liked/loved me” or “I will never be good enough to get the kind of job I want”- the later are less obvious but still have a huge impact.

      I often remind people “you been thinking this way for 30years you can’t expect it to change over night”. If you want to became less attached to the idea that “I need a larger penis to be happy” begin by noticing how often the idea comes to your mind and how it affects you and your way of interacting with others when it is present.

      I am planning on posting on how one become less attached to ideas that they have. Byron Katie has don’t a lot of work with people and their attachment to their ideas- I plan on writing more about her.

  6. kevin smith

    I will certainly read it, but it seems to me that attempting to detach someone from factual statements and thoughts is trying to get someone to buy into a fantasy or a wish list…but throw it out there, reading it can’t hurt.
    The reply was much appreciated

  7. Stephen A. Bryant

    I am at 5 inches erect and 5 inches girth and have experienced humiliation from both men and women and it angers and hurts me to this day. These humiliation episodes happened in the distant past and still affect me to this day. You seem like a decent human being but you downplay the long term pain by referring to these “thoughts” as just “words”. Well, aren’t your solutions just “thoughts and words?” You see, it is very difficult to believe any of your advice but I do not discount it completely. I am 50 years old with a great wife and two great kids yet in most women’s eyes, I will always be viewed as less of a man for something I cannot control. What a nice world live in. At least you are being nice but again, credibility is something elusive whenever I hear women discuss this subject. For the record, I don’t believe my wife either.


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