Listening to understand not to dispute.

One of the most prevalent forms of listening is done with the hopes to fortify our own preexisting opinion. One could say that it is, in fact, not listening at all. This lack of listening keeps us in the dark with the company of our own limited point-of-view. If what someone is saying lines up…

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The Art Of Giving

The truly given gift will never result in loss. When the gift or acts we share in our relationship are truly gifts they cannot result in resentment. What happens in many relationship is that we give something, not as a gift, but as a loan that is meant to accrue interest. We give something away…

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Letting Go To Keep: Letting go of control in the marriage

Go back to the moment in your memory that you can recall falling in love with your beloved.  You may or may not currently be with that beloved at this moment but it makes no difference for this. Something incredible happens when we first fall in love. When we first fall in love we have…

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Finding Your Marital North Star

Often times when I work with premarital couples I ask them what characteristics they would like to see in their marriage. I encourage these couples to take time to think about what is important to them in a relationship, write it down and look back on in frequently.  I then talked to couples about using…

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Working On Internal Peace to Experience External Peace.

In this entry I will not be telling anything you don’t already know.  Think of this entry not as something novel but as a reminder of the obviousness that is all around us. We can witness evidence of the following commentary in our every experience. It is your direct experience that you must listen to,…

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