Does Size (Really) Matter?

 

It goes without saying that the penis is a very sensitive organ for a man, not only physically but also emotionally.  If you want to hit a guy where it counts, so to speak, it’s no mystery how to bring him to his knees.  Men, for the most part, wear their heart in their pants and honestly who can really blame them.

 

In our contemporary western culture men have been socialized to believe the root of their manliness originates in their virility, erections, sexual conquests, sexual stamina and of course the size of their penis. Ironically, most of these characteristic carry more weight with other men than women.

 

That’s not to say that women don’t appreciate some if not all of these qualities. Rather, there are other factors that women tend to value more than a 13 inch penis that can last for 2 hours. Tell 90% of women of your Godzilla tail and they will tell you where you can stick it… anywhere but in them.  Tell a group of men of your wonder-down-under and you’ll witness the combination of self-consciousness and envy.

 

But at the heart of the matter does size really matter? Is bigger always better? Or is there ever a time when less is more?

 

I can answer all these question with one concise answer…. it all depends.

Sex and Your Penis Size: How to move past your (perceived) shortcomings. 

It may come as quite a shock to some people but there are serious Casanovas out there who have very small penises. In addition, there are also men who are built like Ron Jeremy who are nothing to write home about. Working with sex therapy clients I hear both sides of the coin.

 

In this case bigger doesn’t mean better.  Sadly, there are men out there who truly believe that just because they have a larger than average penis that they are automatically God’s gift to women (or men). When thinking of this God’s gift to women guy I envision a man laying naked on his back in bed, hand interlaced behind his head, looking down at his large member and then back at his bed mate while he mutters the phrase “You’re Welcome”.  He lays there during the entire encounter while she (or he) does her/his best to find pleasure in the act.

 

In this case bigger does not equate to better or even okay.

 

A Case For The Micro Penis: When is less actually more? 

Q:When is a shortcoming not a shortcoming at all? A: When you don’t let is stop you from achieving your goals. Sometimes it’s the things that you think would hold you back that force you to think outside the box and help you shine.

It is never the man’s penis size that stops him from having a great sex life; it is the man thoughts about his penis size that become the problem.

 

A while back I attended a training that looked at how to help people build an enjoyable sex life after a spinal cord injuries. Some of the people who talked were paraplegic and others were quadriplegics. They reported that they had not let their disability stop them from having great, enjoyable sex with their partners.

 

I remember one quadriplegic saying, “You can’t just lie there (if you want to be a good lover)” and his partner would tell you that he comes alive when they make love.  Here, a man who could not move below his neck was saying you have to be fully engaged.  It was inspiring.

I walked away with a broader definition of what great sex could be.

Most of us get stuck in a mindset that sex equates to an erect penis and ejaculation. Having a narrow definition of sex can make one’s sexual experiences mundane and stale.  When one is thrown a curve ball such as a small penis, erectile dysfunction, paralysis, etc. they have two options: to get discouraged and play dead or become creative and come alive.

Coming alive in bed with creativity is how Casanovas are created. This is where some men with small penises shine. They know that you can’t just lie there.

 

When They Hit Below the Belt: Overcoming public shame

People choose to hurt others because they feel incomplete themselves. In this way people act like crabs in a pot, pulling one another down so they can feel in a “one up” position.  If you’re already out of the pot, so to speak, there’s no reason or need to pull someone else down so that you can temporarily feel better about yourself.

You may not be able to do anything about your penis size but you can work on the thoughts you have about your penis size.  You can’t do anything about what people say about your penis size but you can work on how much you let other’s words effect you.

You can work on becoming less attached to your ideas you have about your penis.  Ideas such as…

• My life would be better if I had a larger penis.
• I would be happy if my penis wasn’t so small.
• My life would be easier if I had a different size penis.
• I’d be a better lover if I had a big penis.

If you say any of these statements to yourself challenge your thoughts with these questions: Is this true? Can I absolutely be sure I would be happier if my penis was different? When I think these thoughts how does it affect me?

Consider how much worse you may be making the situation with the thoughts you create about it. Try to recognize these thoughts for what they are: just thoughts.  Nothing more, nothing less.