Sex Addiction: What causes sex addiction?

I wanted to share this video of Ram Dass speaking on the subject of addictions. He has a very simple straight forward way of explaining things and in this video he gives some insight into what motivated people to continue using something even after it has proven to be unhealthy for them.

Sexual compulsion is not about someone loving to act of sex. I work with a number of men and woman in my office who compulsively act out in a sexual manner. Most of these men and women report being disgusted with their behavior during the act itself. Many have even described it as being addicted to something you don’t even want. This video many offer some insight. (please excuse the background music- I know its distracting)

Couple of reasons why people become addicted to sex-

• Cope with anxiety- Many disclose using sex as a means to cope with anxiety or other difficult feelings they are experiencing. Certain emotions can be overwhelming, so instead of experiencing something like sadness or anxiety one will avoid their feelings by “covering them up” with an orgasm.

• They feel they owe it to someone- Some report having sex with others because in some way they feel as if they owe it to the other person. The idea of owe someone sex may seam a bit odd to someone who has never experienced this but it is common.  Some people are hungry for attention so they flirt with others so they can be acknowledged and temporarily satiate this desire.  After flirting and receiving the attention they can begin to feel guilty, believing that they leading someone else on. To alleviate this sense of guilt they then have sex with that person.

• Need to feel desirable-  There are people who have reported that they feel as if they need someone else to make them feel good about themselves. Getting a reflective sense of self from someone else is not unique to sexual addiction.  Most of us want other to notice our wonderful qualities and work. Whether one is acting out sexually or not, most of us still look to other people to for a sense of happiness, fulfillment, and a feeling of self worth.