Question to Ask Before You Get Married
I have included just a few questions that come up in premarital counseling. This is not a substitute for premarital counseling, however, it may be a good addition to seeing a counselor.
COUPLE DISCUSSION:
1. Why did you decide to cohabit?
2. How long have you been living together?
3. Do you have children living with you? _____ How many? _____ Ages? _____ Whose children? _____
4. Have you previously cohabited? _____ With how many partners? _____ For how long?_____
5. What was your family’s reaction to your decision to live together?
6. Describe how your relationship has changed since you started cohabiting?
7. Why do you feel you are ready for marriage now?
8. Describe what the following terms mean to you?
a. Unconditional love:
b. Commitment:
c. Fidelity:
d. Forgiveness:
9. What changes in intimacy do you expect after marriage?
10. How does your partner handle conflict?
11. Is your partner controlling? Abusive?
12. Do you expect your relationship to be different after marriage?
COUPLE DISCUSSION:
1. Why did you decide to cohabit?
2. How long have you been living together?
3. Do you have children living with you? _____ How many? _____ Ages? _____ Whose children? _____
4. Have you previously cohabited? _____ With how many partners? _____ For how long?_____
5. What was your family’s reaction to your decision to live together?
6. Describe how your relationship has changed since you started cohabiting?
7. Why do you feel you are ready for marriage now?
8. Describe what the following terms mean to you?
a. Unconditional love:
b. Commitment:
c. Fidelity:
d. Forgiveness:
9. What changes in intimacy do you expect after marriage?
10. How does your partner handle conflict?
11. Is your partner controlling? Abusive?
12. Do you expect your relationship to be different after marriage?
Explain:
13. Will you handle money differently after marriage? Should all money be shared? Will there be separate accounts? What money will be shared, if any?
Explain:
14. Why do you (not) want to be married in a church?
15. Do you want to live apart (together) until the wedding?
Explain:
16. Do you want children? When? How many? Who will take care of them?
17. What if you can’t get pregnant- would you try to adopt? To what extent would you try to have a baby?
18. Will you spank your children? How will they be disciplined?
19. How do you plan on spending the holidays?
20. How do you expect your birthday to be celebrated with your spouse?
21. Have you ever committed a felony? DUI?
22. Do you plan on going to church or any participating in any other religious ritual?
23. How do you think you should address problems that come up in the relationship? What will you if one person wants to go to marriage counseling and the other is against counseling?
24. What is your partner’s biggest fear? How does it effect your relationship?