Wisdom From The Flower: What can nature teach you about your marriage:

“Does a flower, full of beauty, light and loveliness say, ‘I am giving, helping, serving?’ It is! And because it is not trying to do anything it covers the earth.”  -Krishnamurti

What can nature teach you about your marriage:Living a fully present life we can be reminded of great wisdom in the simplest of things. From a hurried glance one might see nothing but a bunch of flowers that seem to be everywhere.  But from pure observation, looking with out the looker or our preconceived ideas superimposed, one is presented with an entirely new experience.

Flowers are not being radiant for anyone. They are simply radiant. They share their beauty and light with everyone indiscriminately. They do not need recognition for their natural state of loveliness. They are not swayed by popular opinions of their worth. They allow every compliment and grievance to pass through them with equal merit.

What can we learn from the flower? How can the flower’s lesson have a positive effect on your well being?   The lesson of the flower is that of “giving without a giver”. It shares it’s radiance freely and not needing a return on its investment, because it is simply being its natural self, it is not weighted down by keeping track of what it is owed.

It can be difficult for some people to believe that their natural state is open, free, endless loving, deeply peaceful. When in doubt, go on your direct experience. When do you feel most natural? When you say, ‘I feel like myself’ are you describing a time when your felt uptight, closed off, angry and discombobulated? Probably not.

2951538Your natural state is open, free, endlessly loving, deeply peaceful. You are whole and complete. Our only problem starts to come up when we forget this and we think that our wholeness lies in someone else. Mainly we are “loving” with the hope of getting something out of it.

Usually what we want back is sex, affection, someone to listen, security, a thank you, someone to see us a certain way or a number of other things we want from others. This is how we turn our relationship into a business relationship. I’ll do something for you if you give me something in return. And since we have no control over the other person, you are in a losing battle that leaves you bitter and cut off from your natural radiance.

Before you give anything or do anything think to yourself if you are alright with any possible outcome. If you are not ok with every outcome its a good sign that you are giving with the intention of trying to control the other person’s response. Give freely, or not at all.

When I share this with people they become nervous that they will have to give up something they value in their relationship. They are afraid that if they do not keep tabs on whether or not they are getting back what is owed to them it will not happen. What ends up happening is something that feels amazing.

You begin to experience openness, freedom, love, and peace without the other person doing anything in return. You can be sure you are giving something freely when the gift for you is in the giving.

Think of a pet or child that you cherish. Have you ever found something that you were sure they were going to love? You make your purchase of this object, treat or toy and head off to give it to them. You can feel your excitement building with the thought of sharing what you have found with them. When you give it to them you have the feeling of being overjoyed.

Now, we have all gone through situations where the dog or child does not want the gift. We don’t scold them for not wanting it. We have all experienced those times when it doesn’t even matter if they like it or not. This is what is meant by the statement “the gift is in the giving”.

Let your light shine, give it freely, for the same light that shines on others shines on you.